Friday, April 01, 2011

Is Forty the new F***-Off?

I'm still locked up in book / goat production, so not much sewing, but I've been thinking about something a whole lot lately.

I'm about to turn 40, and most of my friends are somewhere in that age range.  After a few years of really wanting to get married and have kids, I seem to have passed a tipping point.  Instead of melting down into single girl panic (as all my man lady mags would recommend) I seem to be OK, in fact, more than OK.  After many years of semi-miserable urban living, I'm finally having a bit of an adventure with my life.  Every morning I fire up a pick-up that's only a few years younger than me, drive down a dirt track, and ... well, things happen.  It's fun.  I really like it. There are a whole lots of 'don'ts' in my life.  Don't have much money.  Don't have a man.  Don't have a real home.  Don't have health insurance. Don't have much of a clue what's happening next, but none of the don'ts seem to matter as much as I thought they would.  I'm not scared in the way I'm supposed to be scared.

The point is this.  I feel like I know a whole bunch of women who aren't scared, even though according to all the articles and TV shows they really should be.  In fact, I think that once you find peace with the 'don't's there's an amazing moment where the crap you've accepted as part of your life starts to slip away.  I may not have a lot of things - and maybe I'll regret not having them in the future - but right now 'not having' is starting to feel liberating.  Not having possessions frees you up to go wherever you want, whenever you want.  Not having kids - ditto.  Not having bills, a mortgage... and so on.  I'm a naturally optimistic person.  If I was married, with children, I'd probably be happy too - or at least making the best of it.  But right now, for the first time, I'm really quite glad it's just me.

1 comment:

Carolanne said...

As a newcomer to your blog via Patternreview, I just wanted to say how much I enjoy it and especially this particular post..it is so very true and I wish you the best!