I'm still locked up in book / goat production, so not much sewing, but I've been thinking about something a whole lot lately.
I'm about to turn 40, and most of my friends are somewhere in that age range. After a few years of really wanting to get married and have kids, I seem to have passed a tipping point. Instead of melting down into single girl panic (as all my man lady mags would recommend) I seem to be OK, in fact, more than OK. After many years of semi-miserable urban living, I'm finally having a bit of an adventure with my life. Every morning I fire up a pick-up that's only a few years younger than me, drive down a dirt track, and ... well, things happen. It's fun. I really like it. There are a whole lots of 'don'ts' in my life. Don't have much money. Don't have a man. Don't have a real home. Don't have health insurance. Don't have much of a clue what's happening next, but none of the don'ts seem to matter as much as I thought they would. I'm not scared in the way I'm supposed to be scared.
The point is this. I feel like I know a whole bunch of women who aren't scared, even though according to all the articles and TV shows they really should be. In fact, I think that once you find peace with the 'don't's there's an amazing moment where the crap you've accepted as part of your life starts to slip away. I may not have a lot of things - and maybe I'll regret not having them in the future - but right now 'not having' is starting to feel liberating. Not having possessions frees you up to go wherever you want, whenever you want. Not having kids - ditto. Not having bills, a mortgage... and so on. I'm a naturally optimistic person. If I was married, with children, I'd probably be happy too - or at least making the best of it. But right now, for the first time, I'm really quite glad it's just me.